Things to Hold Onto
by spacefemme
Summary: Slowly, over the years, they learn to be okay with some things that scare them.
1. And You Turn Back to Me, Smiling

"I dunno, Woody," said Jessie, holding up Woody's newly sutured arm over her head and examining it closely. "You sure it'll hold?"

"'Course it will," said Woody, pulling his arm away from her and putting his fists against his hips. "Andy only tied it off, what, five times."

Jessie shrugged. "If you say so." Then their attention was called across the desk when they heard a woman laughing over the unmistakable panting of an overly-excited Bullseye.

"Hey there, lil' guy," Bo was saying as Bullseye jumped up to lick her face, his tail wagging rapidly. Buzz was standing by her, and his eyes widened as Bullseye went back and forth between giving him and Bo that treatment. Bo was a little more endeared by it.

"I know, we didn't get to be properly acquainted when everybody got home last night, did we?" Bullseye started nuzzling his head against her as she scratched his mane.

"Bullseye," Jessie called as she ran over to calm him down, Woody trailing behind a bit slower.. She managed to get a hold of Bullseye's head and pull him back a little ways. "Sorry 'bout that. We're both just so hoppin' excited to be here, ain't we?" She nudged his head in so he would face her, and they smiled at each other as she scratched the sides of his face, his tail slowing to a steady swing back and forth.

"Oh, that's alright," said Bo. "He's a sweet little fella."

"He sure is," said Woody, now standing on the other side of him and stroking his mane. Bullseye craned his neck back and started licking his hand.

"You know, Woody, it's not very gentlemanly of you not to introduce me to your friends here," said Bo with mock reproach.

"Oh! Uh," said Woody, rubbing the back of his neck. "Of course. Sorry -"

"Kiddin', sweetie," she said, rolling her eyes and holding out her hand for Jessie to shake. "I'm Bo Peep."

"Jessie," she replied, shaking Bo's hand vigorously and using her own free hand to tip up her hat. "Pleasure to meet'cha!"

"The pleasure's all mine."

"Wait - 'sweetie?'" Jessie said. She gasped, and her tone became a bit too mischievous for Woody's liking. "Woody, is this your_ lady friend_?" She let go of the handshake and held her hand up to her face as if telling a secret.

"Uhhh, y-yeah," he said, taken aback. "If you wanna use those terms, sure."

"Oo-ooh," said Jessie, her voice instantly a few octaves higher as she let go of the handshake. She dropped her voice back down when she addressed Bo again, as if she'd just as quickly switched to discussing business. "You know he's ticklish?"

"I know," Bo said with a smile and nod. "You're right to try n' keep me informed, though. Thank you."

Woody rolled his eyes, but his matching smile gave him away.

"Any time," said Jessie, and out of the corner of her eye she saw a figure of brightly colored plastic rocking slightly front to back on his feet, perhaps not even cognizant of it. She turned to face him, seeing that his mouth was pressed firmly shut.

"Howdy, spaceman," she said with a smirk. "Thanks again for all your help last night!"

"It's - ahem - it's no trouble at all," said Buzz as though he had to force the words out, then caught himself before he reverted back to the same expression and tried to relax his face a bit more. "You can just call me Buzz, though."

Jessie nodded, and the other two shared a brief sideways glance at each other, Bo raising an eyebrow slightly.

"Would'ja believe these two started out hating each other?"

"No way," said Jessie. "Well, alright, I guess I can see it." She chuckled and glanced Buzz's way to see that he now looked fairly worried.

"Oh, no," she said, waving her hand as if trying to shoo off any misunderstanding. "Not like that. I get why _Woody_ might be unsure of ya, that's all. All the bells n' whistles." She gestured to the row of buttons on his chest. "But hey, he came around, huh?" She nudged his shoulder with her elbow, and his helmet swished closed, giving them both a small jolt.

"Oh - didn't even know that was a button," she said with a laugh.

The conversation was cut short when they all heard Andy bounding up the stairs and yelling, "Just a second, Mom! I'll be right there!"

They all got back in their places: Buzz and Woody lying still on the desk, Bo back at her lamp on the other side, and Bullseye and Jessie on the bed, which they reached with a rather impressive leap from the desk on Bullseye's part, Jessie riding on his back.

Andy made quick business of throwing a few odds and ends in his backpack and marking the bottoms of Jessie's and Bullseye's shoes before double-checking that Woody's arm was securely stitched on. Once the family was out of the house, Buzz stood up and brushed himself off, all too quickly zoning out when his eyes wandered toward Andy's bed and the rather exuberant redhead standing there. His thoughts were broken, though, when a voice rang in his ear, Bo having managed to sneak up to his side while he was distracted.

"She's somethin', isn't she?"

Buzz shook his head, taking a second to process what Bo was saying. "I - what?"

"Oh, come _on_," Bo said knowingly. "You were practically swooning back there, think we couldn't tell?"

"That is _not_ \- I wasn't -" He trailed off when he saw Bo smirking in a way that said she wasn't buying. He sighed and conceded, "I just think she's very...bright."

"Bright, huh?"

"Yes."

"Buzz -"

"And she looks -" He paused, trying to find phrasing that might make it sound like he wasn't already long gone for the new girl. He'd be kidding himself, sure, but for now he could at least try to maintain a facade of composure around her. "She has nice hair."

"Nice hair," Bo repeated.

"Yes."

"So go tell 'er," she said, nodding toward the bed.

"What?"

"Yeah," she said with a shrug. "Even if you're gonna deny being so thoroughly smitten, people like compliments. And shouldn't we be makin' her feel more welcome here, anyway?"

"'Course we should," said Woody, now strolling toward them and just starting to catch what they were saying. "What's he s'posed to be tellin' her, exactly?"

"That he's head-over-jetpack for her," said Bo.

Woody's eyes went wide and he glanced back and forth between the other two, mouth agape. It soon turned into a smile, though, as he and Bo shared a scheming look.

"That so?" he said, crossing his arms. "So go talk to her."

"I was _going_ to," Buzz said defensively.

"So go," Bo said with a chuckle, using the straight end of her staff to open his helmet.

"Alright," he said, starting down from the desk by the knobs on the drawers. "I'm going. Happy now?"

"Sure am, space ranger," said Woody.

Once Buzz was out of earshot, Bo shook her head and said, "Helpless, the both of you."

"Hey, I wasn't -"

"Were too," she said, and it was enough to get him to stop arguing.


	2. In Me, Always With Me

'Wrong place, wrong time' was the only way to describe it. It had been a few years since everything seemed to fall into place for Jessie's mind to get the best of her in the worst way, but that must have meant she was overdue.

On Wednesday, Mom had brought home some protective plastic and a few cans of pink paint to redo Molly's room.

Thursday, Andy had agreed to let Molly borrow Jessie to play along with her Barbies while he spent the night at a friend's house, the elementary school having let out a couple of days earlier.

Friday morning, Mom moved out anything big that could have been ruined by the paint, and put Molly's toys away to keep them clean. That meant Molly's lamp and the cowgirl doll lying on the desk were going in the toy chest - which in turn was going in the attic - until the paint was done and dry.

Friday afternoon was the picnic at Molly's preschool to celebrate the end of the school year.

Bo could hear the labored breathing as soon as Mom had closed the latch, and she got closer to Jessie, knelt down next to her and put a hand on her shoulder to see if she could help ground her, but waited until she and Molly were out the door to say anything.

"Jessie?"

"I can't - can't breathe -" she said, gasping intermittently. She was sitting at the bottom of the chest, her hands clenched on the floor, eyes wide open and terrified.

"You can. You're gonna be okay. Just pause for a minute, take a deep breath -"

Jessie only heaved in response. Bo furrowed her brow in thought.

"Well...would it help if we talked a little? Get your mind off it?"

"I've - never tried it." Her breathing was getting shakier.

"Alright, then let's try it," said Bo, trying to sound like she at least had more of a handle on the situation. "You like animals, don't you?" She looked over her shoulder and waved Billy, Goat, and Gruff toward them. "Let's see if we can't keep her steady here, girls."

They bleated and nuzzled Jessie's leg gently, getting a weak smile out of her as she reached down to pat their heads.

"They like you," said Bo.

After a moment, Jessie's breathing slowed just enough to talk more easily, though it was still heavy.

"Well I like you guys, too," she said, smiling down at them. She looked over at Bo. "So does Bullseye. Maybe a little too much."

"Yeah," said Bo, giggling. "The other day - you shoulda seen it - he had them cowering in the corner, couldn't even see how scared they were. He just wanted to play, didn't he?" She stroked the top of Gruff's head, who huffed in response.

Jessie uttered another sharp gasp.

"Hey, what about that movie we watched?" Bo asked, grasping her staff with both hands as if it would help either of them. "Kinda weird seein' Buzz in a cartoon, huh?"

"Yeah," said Jessie with a winded-sounding chuckle. "I mean, I've seen me and Woody as puppets, so maybe not _that_ weird."

"That I might have to see one day," said Bo. "I liked that princess character, didn't you?"

Jessie nodded. "And the robot," she said, her voice sounding lower.

"Oh, he was a riot, for sure."

"Totally saw the Darkmatter thing comin'," she said, raising an eyebrow.

"Ya did, huh?"

"Didn't wanna say anything and spoil it for anybody, but -"

"His last name was Darkmatter. Yeah, it was a little cheesy. That whole spiel about how what he _stands for_ will never die, whatever it was..."

"Motherhood, America, and a hot lunch for orphans."

Bo practically cackled. "Was that from Woody's show?"

"Nah," Jessie said, smiling a little bit again. "It's this old song Emily used to…"

She nearly seemed to flinch at what she'd said, and both the girls' faces fell.

"Andy's not your first kid, I take it."

Jessie shook her head, and her breathing sped up again. "He's gonna forget me, too."

"No -"

"He is, he is!"

Jessie sounded like she truly believed that, but the look in her eyes said she knew it wasn't true, and her mind was only torturing her with the possibility. Bo loosened her grip on the staff and touched her knuckles to her lips while she tried to think of something to say.

"Ya know something, Jessie?"

"What?"

Bo flattened her palm as she moved it to her cheek. "I'm a nursery toy. I have no idea if Molly's gonna remember me when she gets older."

Jessie sighed. "Sorry, I didn't mean to bring you down, too -"

"No, no, that's not what I meant," Bo tried to reassure her. "Molly's just so little right now. I don't know what's gonna happen the next few years, if she'll still be so attached to me. But right now, it's nice to know I'm here when she needs me. She hates the dark, too, ya know."

"So I've heard," said Jessie, breath slowing down again as she listened to Bo.

"Everyone's got somethin'. I know it's not the same, but I get nervous dealin' with heights. And let's see...tryin' to think what it would be for Woody and Buzz."

"Buzz is afraid a' cowgirls, we know that," Jessie muttered, a smirk creeping onto her face.

"I dunno if he's _afraid_ of 'em," Bo said slyly. "I think it's more of a weakness." With that, she managed to get another laugh out of Jessie. But it passed just as soon as it came, and for a moment it was silent.

"Hey, how 'bout this?" said Bo, and Jessie looked at her curiously. "I don't know what's gonna happen with Molly, or Andy, or anybody else. I think you're gonna leave Andy with some good memories when he grows up, and I'll bet that Emily remembers you, too." Jessie looked down at her feet solemnly, clearly trying to banish the thought from her mind, but Bo kept going. "But it seems like your brain likes to put you down sometimes. So I'm gonna make you a promise."

Jessie lifted up her head, but only looked sideways at Bo.

"No matter what happens," said Bo. "No matter where we all end up, I'm gonna remember you. I'm absolutely _certain_ everybody in Andy's room is gonna remember you, too, but if you ever get to thinkin' nobody will, remember I'm a woman of my word."

Jessie finally faced her again, looking her right in the eye, and Bo tried to make her see that she was being absolutely, unwaveringly sincere.

"You're pretty hard to forget, anyway," she said. "Ya ever need somethin' to hold onto, you've got that. Okay?"

Jessie nodded, but the thought began to set in that she would have to say goodbye to Bo probably sooner than the others. That was typically a given with nursery toys. It wasn't happening now, though, so she tried to pull herself together, as much as she could given where she was.

"I'm gonna remember you, too," she said through a breath that caught in her throat. "Promise."

"There," said Bo with a soft smile. "I'll always know I've got somebody out there."

Jessie nodded, resolute.


	3. Caught Me at the Right Time

A few hours after they'd left the carnival grounds, Mr. and Mrs. Anderson talked outside over drinks from the cooler, their daughter sound asleep inside the RV.

"So does this mean Jessie's the new Woody?" Forky whispered from Bonnie's arm. Potatohead, Dolly and Buttercup all rolled their eyes.

"No," said Dolly. "Once again, that is not what this means."

"Then what does it mean?"

"Means Woody picked the perfect time to check out," said Potatohead as he took out his ears. Jessie kicked him just hard enough to get his attention and stared him down with a look that said, _Be nice for cryin' out loud._

"Well," said Rex, tapping his hands together. "What happens when Bonnie realizes he's gone?"

"She might not," said Buttercup flatly.

"Come on now," said Slink. "She went to the trouble a' packin' him, she's bound to notice sooner or later."

"'Course she'll notice," Jessie said.

She gave Buzz a sideways glance and saw his face seem to soften and fall at the same time.

"And when she does," he said. "She'll probably be upset for a little while, and then move on. She's going to be be fine."

Back when Bo had left, Jessie had said the same thing about herself and severely doubted it. She'd always figured if the day came she was separated from Woody, it would be even worse.

Yet here she was, completely believing what had been said.

* * *

Bonnie's parents went to sleep around midnight, and Jessie had a mind to do the same until she realized her favorite critter was nowhere to be seen. She searched the RV and asked around, but no one had seen Bullseye, and that meant he could have been lost, scared, alone, no idea what to do or how to get home. She felt her familiar panic setting in as she tried to recall when she had last seen him, when they had last stopped, before noticing that the sunroof was cracked open. She climbed up to look through it and, sure enough, saw Bullseye curled up on the roof, staring at the sky. She sighed in relief, but it broke a toy's heart to hear the way he whimpered.

_Shoulda known._

"Hey, bud," she said as she climbed out onto the roof.

Bullseye looked back at her, but didn't move from his spot.

She mustered up a sympathetic smile as she went to sit by him. "Come on, Bullseye. It's gonna be okay."

She held his chin up to face her, but he just laid his head on her lap and kept on sulking.

"Could be a whole lot worse, ya know. He could be stuck in some stuffy display case with Stinky Pete."

Bullseye huffed in response.

"Yeah, heck with that ol' miser," she said as she started to pet his mane. "But it doesn't matter, 'cause Woody's with Bo instead, and you know how happy she makes him."

He didn't move, but his ears perked up a little.

"There we go." She smirked as he stared up at her. "And you know somethin'? You were always there for me, way before we met Woody. No matter how dark it was, or how scared I got, you helped me through it. So I'm gonna be here for you."

She heard the sound of hard plastic clicking on the roof, but didn't acknowledge it.

"And we're gonna be kinda sad for awhile, but we're gonna get through it, and then we can be just plain happy for 'im." She looked down at her badge and dropped her smile as Buzz approached the two of them.

"Nice night," he said.

"It's awful quiet."

He sat down next to her and patted the top of Bullseye's head.

"I think that's what people like about camping."

"It's gonna be even harder this time, isn't it."

Buzz frowned. "We weren't exactly prepared for this one."

"When this used to happen in Andy's room - when folks would leave - I was always just sad, and that was it. Now it's like I'm feelin' a million things at once."

"Like what?"

She stopped to form the words in her head. "Like I'm gonna miss him, and that's gonna hurt pretty bad, but I still feel like I'm gonna be alright."

"That's not quite a million."

"I also feel like I've got some big boots to fill."

"Well," Buzz said as he glanced at the badge. "Bonnie thinks you can do it, and personally, I trust her judgment."

Jessie chuckled, and then they both went quiet for a moment.

"Ya know," she said finally, looking out at the trees in the RV park. "I don't know if it works this way the whole world over, or the whole galaxy - but it seems like everything that's ever happened to me was for a reason."

Buzz furrowed his brow curiously.

"There weren't any other toys in Emily's room. It was always just me and her, till it was just me. And if that didn't happen, I'd'a never met Woody. If I never met Woody, I'd'a never realized what Pete was like, and then I'd never be Andy's toy, and then I'd never meet you, or Bo, or anybody in there." She nodded down to the RV. "Maybe this is like that."

Buzz stared in awe of how smart she was, until she shook her head and put a hand to her temple.

"Look at me goin' on about myself. What about you?" She put her hand back down as her shoulders sank. "He was your best friend."

Buzz smiled at her. "I still have a best friend."

Jessie's smile grew back on her face and she leaned against him, careful not to disturb Bullseye, and rested her head on his chest. He put an arm around her shoulders.

"And who knows?" he said. "We never thought we'd see Bo again. Maybe we'll run into them again one day."

"Sure," said Jessie. "Maybe when Bonnie grows up we'll all run off and join the circus with 'em. Till then, I think we can manage."

They looked down and saw Bullseye fast asleep on Jessie's lap, looking quite content.

Buzz regarded him fondly. "Best steed a sheriff ever had."


End file.
